Written Large

Dragonflies

2009-10-17T21:47:00.002+01:00

A couple of weeks ago, I noticed that a dragonfly had been hanging around Brent's car, right outside our house. It would fly in, land on the antenna, sit for a while, fly off and come back, and repeat this over and over, day after day. It was a lovely, vivid red colour and moved in a charming way. Why, I wondered, was it here? Why did it hang around Brent's car, on our doorstep? I think the answer for this dragonfly's presence was love, for, about a week after it appeared, another dragonfly appeared, the same vivid red. He (I guess the gender) waited for the dragonfly to land on the antenna and proceeded to glide prettily around it. When the first dragonfly took off, the second followed, dancing all the while around the steady flight of the first. It warmed my heart. And I wrote a song about dragonflies. Find that song here: http://www.myspace.com/mrgavinlewiswright

2009-06-07T19:01:00.000+01:00

As I write, hundreds of thousands of people from all over Lebanon (and quite a few from outside Lebanon) are casting their votes in the national general election. The race is tight—both coalitions promise change, both promise safety, security, stability, higher wages, better living conditions and things that people the world over are promised by various politicians on a reasonably frequent basis. And many believe them, many place their hope for the future of this country in the hands of a few men that have promised good things for them.
The only problem is this: men (and women) let us down. Our politicians rarely fulfil all of their promises. Historically, no human leader (as far as I’m aware) has left his constituents perfectly satisfied, perfectly affluent, or perfectly safe. And I don't think this election will be any different.
Humans have a pretty poor track record in leading selflessly, honestly and faithfully. The Bible says that “...there is no one who does good, not even one” that is, not that we do no good things, but that even in our best moments, we are not perfectly good—each of us tainted by sin, often by selfishness or by self-glorifying motives. None of us, then, is completely trustworthy, or completely honourable, which makes voting hard.
What to do then? Should we put our hope somewhere? Or consider everything as hopeless? Psalm 145 says that “The LORD is faithful to all his promises and loving to all he has made.” Unlike humans, God actually does what he says he will do. In the Old Testament, God promised a nation for himself and a land for that nation. Promises fulfilled. God promised a Saviour who would be King forever but would first die to save humans from their corruptness and its consequences. Promise fulfilled. And now, for those who trust in that Saviour, God promises life after death, he promises a new world without sin or sickness or poverty or death. And I trust him because he has always been, and will always be faithful to his word.
So don’t put your hope in the Conservatives, or Obama or your friends. Don’t invest your trust for the future in Tottenham (who would?), Andy Murray, your vicar or your family. Enjoy them, love them, honour them as appropriate, but don’t put your hope in them. They will let you down. Trust God, the beginning and the end, always the same, unchanging, and faithful to promises so much better than any human will be able to make to you

Jokes With Monkey Episode 3

2009-04-23T09:43:00.001+01:00

He's brown, he's beautiful, and he's back.

The Itching Song

2009-03-25T19:23:00.001Z

Spring is a troubling time of year in Lebanon.
This is a thoughtful piece, which wrestles with the pressing issues of itching, anger and insect death. Specifically discussed are the current perpetrators of the crimes in question - the mosquito and the dood.
The dark and emotional lyrics are made all the haunting by their juxtaposition with what could almost be described as a jovial musical backing.

I love these guys.

Exiled Inside

2009-02-21T18:20:00.001Z

Exiled inside
You know I can't reveal
Exiled inside
My feelings I conceal
The words I want to say
Fall down and die away

My Favourite Buttons

2009-01-11T18:40:00.002Z

Two nights ago, I had a dream. I don't remember much about most of it, but what I do remember is this: I was on some kind of generic gameshow, and to win the prize, I had to answer this question: "Name your top ten favourite buttons." And so I did. I don't remember what they all were, and I don't know if I won the prize, but I do remember what some of my favourite buttons were. These are they (in no particular order):
1. A big red button
2. Button Moon
3. Jensen Button
4. Milkybar buttons
5. Benjamin Button
6. Do not push this button
7. Buttons with cats on

fin

A Perfect Day?

2008-12-31T13:38:00.002Z

Boxing Day, December 2008.

Dad, Mags, Phil and I went for a walk. It was a nice walk. A very nice walk indeed. It was somewhere in the Peak District (probably - my geography of the Midlands isn't that great) and it was extremely pretty. We walked along some kind of valley. It was cold (I could see my breath) and there were patches of woodland dotted about among the rough country side. In the low December sun, which covered everything in sight with a king of golden haze, we paused to eat what Dad had packed in his bag. I had smoked salmon and brie sandwiches and glass of surprisingly pleasant Spanish red wine. We then walked another mile or so to the pub (I can't remember the name) outside of which we drunk our hot chocolate before walking back the whole route again.
I felt very happy, a bit awed by the beauty of what God has made for us to enjoy, and appreciating the love of my family.
Now, I know that because of Jesus, I have a New Creation to look forward to - where everything will be perfect, where no one will die or feel pain or hunger or sadness of any sort. I know this Boxing Day was not a patch on what is to come, but I praise God for his mercy in giving me this day to help tide me over until I get to taste the real thing.

2 tasty little treats for you

2008-12-14T15:54:00.004Z

Hello! Here are two things. Firstly, being extremely excited to hear that my Blur are playing again for the first time in about nine years ( http://www.nme.com/news/blur/41530 ), I started listening to some old tracks, and forgot how delightful 'Ernold Same' was. I think Ken Livingstone does some speaking on it. I danced around my room.

There is also this, the long awaited second installment in the popular 'Jokes With Monkey' series. It features a monkey and some Christmas lights.

Love you! Byee!

Why I Cannot Sleep

2008-11-02T15:52:00.002Z

Recently, I have been having a little trouble dozing off at night. This (taken from my bedroom window) will explain why...

Wordle

2008-10-02T15:08:00.001+01:00

Hey, this is cool. Most common words from my last 5 blogs:

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Loving the Unlovely

2008-10-02T14:28:00.002+01:00

So, here I am. It’s taken me a while to get here, but eventually, I made it. And honestly, it’s been hard work—really hard work.
Teaching Grade 2 (and grade 1 English) has been something of a shock to the system and, language barriers aside, not all of the children are necessarily inclined to be… as compliant as one may wish.
However, it is still genuinely a privilege to serve these children as Christ first served me. For

“...while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5v8)

In my sin, I was more unlovely to God than these children will ever be to the world, yet still he loved me enough to die my death for me.
It is my hope and my sincere prayer this year that I would love as God has loved me, and show grace as he has shown grace to me. Most of all, I pray that God would use me as his instrument here to persuade these children to trust in Christ that they too may know and enjoy this great grace.

Jokes With Monkey, episode 1

2008-09-20T19:46:00.003+01:00

Hello there, boys and girls. It's what you've all been waiting for! Jokes With Monkey is whizzing through the interwebs to your face RIGHT NOW.

The last moments of calm

2008-09-17T16:01:00.002+01:00

So, here it comes. Tomorrow, most of my life will be occupied by 10 small people. Very small, and Arabic to boot. We may not come from the same place or speak the same languages or have the same understanding of discipline or... This is going to be hard. Pray for me. Pray for patience and pray that for their educating, their saving and God's glory, I might:

"labour, struggling with his energy which works so powerfully within me."

The Last Night

2008-09-12T19:29:00.002+01:00

Six days ago, on my last night in England, I lost my cool. I'd been very calm and almost blase (to the casual observer) about leaving my friends and my home and my family in order to be here, in Lebanon. At church on Sunday Evening, I stopped being calm. There were probably many emotions swirling around in my ridiculous brain, but it was whilst trying to read the passage from Romans 8 (see the previous blog) that the floodgates opened. And I think they were tears of understanding, that it's one thing to believe Romans 8 in theory, but another to get on with believing it in practice. And it's HARD (although I did get a hug from David Banting).

Still I survived, even through communion and prayer with my lovely lovely friends, without crying again until after I'd packed. At about 12:30, I got on my knees and wept. Different tears this time - of helplessness. But God loves to hear his people cry out to him in times of complete weakness - Like in Psalm 55:

"Evening, morning and noon I cry out in distress, and he hears my voice... ...Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall."

And you know what, God has sustained me (which is good, because I couldn't have done it for myself). He got me here safely, and whilst there's a lot of hard work coming my way, I feel at peace and reasonably ready for it.

Try being helpless once in a while - it's great to lean on someone who really is strong enough...

A Big Theological Comfort Blanket

2008-09-04T14:54:00.003+01:00

As I write this, I have four days until I leave England to move to Lebanon. This in itself is quite a scary thing (I think I’ve only just realised I’m going). However, I am buoyed greatly by these words at the end of Romans 8:

“I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus.”

I am under no illusions that leaving this country and the people here I love will be easy, or indeed, that the work to be done in Lebanon won’t be hard and frustrating. But there it is—nothing, nothing, nothing in the universe can take from me that which is most important - that God loved me through Jesus and his cross, making me forgiven and securing for me a perfect future in his new creation! It is in this promise that my confidence for this year and the rest of my life lies, so don’t ever let me forget it.

Ben Goes Wierd

2008-08-20T11:39:00.003+01:00

Friends, fear not - this is a public service announcement. I don't understand quite what is going on here, but I do love it, and I hope that you will love it too.

Cologne

Here We Go Again

2008-08-16T17:51:00.003+01:00

Unbelievable.

Things I've Learnt In The Summer Holidays

2008-08-16T08:55:00.004+01:00

Stick With Jesus
Camp was brilliant this year, really brilliant. Whilst Jokes with monkey was an obvious highlight (watch out for the podcast...), the best bit was the heartbeat of Colossians, which we were studying.

"So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness" (Colossians 2 v6-7)

So, the Bible says we should stick with Jesus - here are some reasons Colossians gives:

*Jesus made the universe (1v16)
*Jesus sustains the universe (1v17)
*Jesus is completely God (1v19)
*Jesus alone can stop humans being at war with God (1v20)
*Jesus alone can forgive sin (1v14)
*Jesus alone can make humans perfect (1v28)
*Jesus will restore creation to the perfect way it is supposed to be (1v20)
*Jesus offers hope in the only book worth anything - his Bible (1v23)

And that's just the first chapter! Check it out here!

I Will Miss My Family
I don't see them much nowadays. They live in the North, I live in the South. And mostly we're men, so we're not that great at communicating. But it was really lovely to spend a few days with them last week. I'm going to be 2,000 miles further away from them in about three weeks, which will make it slightly harder to see them, though I reckon I might find myself in contact with them more. Okay, monopoly was a washout, but I love them all the same.
Oh, and I'm going to be an uncle in two months!

The Olympics Is More Important Than Sleep
It's amazing how, once every four years, Greco-Roman wrestling and clay-pigeon shooting suddenly become things I care about very much...

I Have Too Much Junk
I thought I got rid of it all, if not when I moved out of home a year ago, then at least when we had our yard sale in July. It turns out I still have way more stuff than I know what to do with. I'm trying to whittle my life down to 37 kilos and I've got 23 days left to do it!

And that's what I've learnt in my summer holidays. So far...

An English Experience

2008-07-17T22:51:00.006+01:00

This evening, in the odd chill of July under a dull grey sky, I do not think I'd ever felt quite so much like an Englishman. It was because I was standing in front of my barbecue, which I had built myself out of old bricks. It was raining, and I was happily holding in one hand a cup of tea whilst with the other hand I was trying to both turn the sausages with impractically short tongs and shield the same sausages from the ravages of the English weather with my umbrella. The sausages were pink on one side and black on the other, and I kept losing them to the coals through the gaps in the grill. It was nice. I was satisfied.

Then I remembered that whilst I felt like an Englishman, I'm not really one at all. This is because my "...citizenship is in heaven, and from it (I) await a Saviour, the Lord Jesus Christ." (Philippians 3v20)

You see, I live here, but I don't belong here, and I'm waiting for my King to take me home.

Dancing All Over The World

2008-07-10T13:57:00.003+01:00

Hats off to Nathan for finding and posting this lovely video:

Where the Hell is Matt? (2008) from Matthew Harding on Vimeo.

I can't decide whether I like the crabs or the soldier in the DMZ better.

Good TV/Bad TV pt. 1

2008-07-06T22:59:00.006+01:00

Bad TV
I love Dr. Who, and am a very very big fan of David Tennant as the Doctor. Also, I am a big fan of daleks, space and large explosions.

However, I've recently been feeling let down, and I'm not alone. Don't get me wrong, I did enjoy the season's finale, but I knew it wasn't good. Not as good as it could be, not as good as it has been. Here are some reasons:
It is not scary
Doctor Who is supposed to frighten you. It did when I was young, and I'm sure it doesn't just feel very timid because I'm old - some episodes like the one with the gas-masked kids or the epilepsy-inducing gargoyles episode were genuinely terrifying. But for some reason,the daleks are just shiny figures of fun instead of objects of terror.
It is too easy
Every episode has a quick-fix. The doctor never has to work to defeat his enemies any more - he just magics up some brand new scientific law which conveniently means the baddies explode/the world is safely towed through time, space and reality in perfect condition and placed precisely in orbit where it belongs/someone comes back to life/etc etc... This means that there's never any tension, because you never really believe there's any chance that the Doctor can lose.
It is afraid to move on
Part of the beauty of Doctor Who, particularly the most recent batch of series, is his deep loneliness. There's a certain poignancy in always saying goodbye to characters, but you lose the sense of desperation when you learn to assume you'll just see everyone again in next season's finale through some other miracle. I mean, why bring Mickey and Rose's Mum back?

I have other reasons, but it's late. The Doctor is off our screens for two years now, which is good - a time to reflect, and to re-focus (and to make Eddie Izzard the next Doctor!).

Hey now, don't dream it's over...

2008-06-28T00:14:00.002+01:00

...As sang Neil Finn into my earphones as I sat down on the train home this evening. Except, it is, isn't it?
Tonight I've been filled with the kind of feeling where you just wander around your empty house without turning the lights on, drifting from room to room whilst doing and achieving nothing in any of them. Today I have said goodbye to good friends, brothers and sisters of mine, who have loved, rebuked and encouraged me wonderfully over the last two years.
But here's the tension - I know that our parting shouldn't be that painful, as I am convinced that we shall one day start to share an eternity together, but still I am pained.
Why is this? I can only imagine (and my imagination is limited, for it is late and I am tired) that much of the pain is rooted in the fact that before we start that eternity, we must endure first the rest of our lives (40 years? 50? 60?) on this transitory and corrupt plane. This is hard, for it will contain times of loneliness, sadness, frustration, illness and grief. Friends will leave, friends will be forgotten or will forget, and friends will die - life is hard.
So we must fix our eyes each day more firmly on Jesus than we did in the last, and we must look forward to and in the midst of pain, long for what he earned for us on his grim cross:

(from Revelation 21, the Bible)

I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them.
They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God.
He will wipe every tear from their eyes.
There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."
He who was seated on the throne said, "I am making everything new!"
Then he said, "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true."
He said to me: "It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End.
To him who is thirsty I will give to drink without cost from the spring of the water of life."

Don't dream it's over? Alright then.

Eras

2008-06-21T00:09:00.003+01:00

Some things I have today noted about eras:

One. Eras is an anagram of a ruder word.

Two. An era ended today. A good era. One of the best, in fact.

Three. As I get older, eras seem to come and go with worryingly increasing frequency. Things seem to end all the time nowadays. This makes life difficult, especially if, like me, you feel secure in consistency.

Four. As I walked back over London Bridge for the last time this evening, I paused and took a brief gaze towards the darkened shape of H.M.S. Belfast before turning to face in the direction of St. Paul’s and allowed my self a moment to watch the tens of thousands of artificial lights burning so beautifully (from a distance) on both sides of the river. I thought about how every era ends, and I thought about how few of those people I looked towards understood this thought and its significance. The era of their youth, the era of their financial security, the era of their success and eventually the era of their life will end. People don’t like to think about this, but the eras of everything they love and every penny they squirrel away will one day cease.

This great city too, with its wealth and architecture and its history will come to an end. In fact, everything that exists today exists on a temporary basis no matter how wonderful it looks or how much it costs or how deep its foundations are. This era will end, and I don’t know when, but I know how.

This world and all its imperfection will, on the command of Jesus on one great day, be obliterated, destroyed, wiped out completely and permanently, to be replaced by one perfect creation whose era will not end. Nobody will cease to exist – all will begin one final, everlasting era but in one of two places: An eternal era of pain - separated from God, or an eternal era of joy on the new, perfect, real and enjoyable creation which is where God will dwell with people.

Remembering the big era I live in helps make the end of the smaller ones a little less heart-wrenching. I only wish everybody else knew this…